It has taken me a long time to realize what is truly bothering me so much about the “Will & Jada situation”, until I stumbled upon it last night. It’s the realization after witnessing the incessant online annihilation of Jada Pinkett-Smith’s character, which I deemed impenetrable after about 30 years of upstanding reputation and public service, that no woman is safe.
It’s scary to watch so many people comfortable with participating in the metaphorical stoning of this woman based almost entirely on the misrepresentation of her words, lack of complete information, and in some cases straight up lies. Presenting facts to them don’t work, nothing seems to work. There are teachers, doctors, and abuse advocates actively wishing death upon her who see nothing wrong with their actions. If this is how they can treat another human being they do not know, how can we trust them with our lives in societal settings? The fact that this level of heartless savagery still exists today is demoralizing. How easily smart people can be swayed by the allure of mob mentality is eye-opening.
Will Smith has admitted to his ego getting in the way of loving Jada properly, he has taken ownership for not really caring about other’s feelings (therapy has since helped him become more empathetic) but it is Jada who is accused of being a narcissist and not caring about her husband.
Women who have suffered any type of mistreatment by a male understand this display from the public to protect the image of a more powerful/beloved man all too well. We open our mouths to share our experience and we immediately become the enemy. We are “trying to tear him down“, we “just want attention“, we are “setting him up“, we are “after his money“, and the list goes on. Then comes the purposeful destruction of her credibility. If you make a woman seem like a whore somehow that’s the ultimate killer. Women and sexual freedom is the devil.
To recap what is happening with Jada Pinkett-Smith; her and her husband Will Smith separated 7 years ago. In that time they both have lived completely separate lives, which included other relationships. They have both agreed to not file for an official divorce. In 2020 artist August Alsina did an interview with Angela Ye discussing his heartbreak over the ending of his relationship with Jada Pinkett. A relationship which he said had the blessing of Will. Jada Pinkett was silent for days after that interview went public. Comments were left on her page asking for answers, celebrity news shows did several segments about it, blogs went crazy with all sorts of speculation! Eventually Will and Jada decided to confront those rumors together in a controlled environment (Jada’s Red Table Talk). Jada admitted to the relationship with August and Will acknowledged they were not together at the time and that he had left her.
Following that, false headlines, words taken out of context, and lies would go viral for the next few years. People refused to acknowledge the fact that this couple both said they were separated and labeled Jada a cheater. Stories of her “still being in love with Tupac“, “never loving Will” ran rampant even though these were entirely made up. She got labeled a “pedophile” and accused of “grooming” August Alsina, even though he was an adult man when they met and what has been described about their relationship by both Jada and August does not meet the qualifications of grooming. Fast forward to March 2022, comedian Chris Rock makes an unflattering joke about Jada Pinkett and Will Smith gets up out of his seat and slaps Chris Rock on national television. Even though Jada and Will never make any eye contact (which is shown via several videos from different angles), Jada gets blamed for this as well.
According to many of the public Will Smith has entirely no agency, no choices, and no personal thoughts and feelings of his own. Jada is responsible for her actions, Will’s actions and even the actions that did not happen but were made up by the public. A logical person can objectively see just how unfair this is… but we are clearly not dealing with logic. We are dealing with something far deeper and far more sinister.
Society’s deep underlying hatred for the autonomy of women. Women are best accepted as long as they “stay in their place“. Let a woman be too loud, too sexual, too ambitious, too vulgar, too difficult, just… “TOO…” and she reverts back to an object not worthy of respect.
We use all kinds rationalizations to justify our bullying and abuse of these women we no longer deem acceptable. It’s always their fault why we are an evil piece of shit.
Historically women have been treated like objects and accessories for thousands of years. It is deeply ingrained in our cultural DNA. We are blank slates until someone decides who we are to be (usually based on standards other than our own). Then that becomes our identity for the rest of our lives. Only now the Scarlet Letter we walk around with is transparent.
Men have been allowed to use Jada Pinkett-Smith for content for the last three years and many had no problem with it. Chris Rock used her as a joke in his Oscar monologue, he then went on to disparage her (repeatedly calling her out her name) for about 15 minutes in his Netflix comedy special, she was the topic of August’s interview with Angela Ye, the majority of Marlon Wayans 2023 comedy special was about his experience of being in love with Jada, and Will Smith detailed the rise and fall of his marriage to her in his 2021 memoir “Will”. I think it’s about time she got to tell her own story, on her own terms!
And NO, she should not “stop talking“, because she hasn’t told her story yet. The past 3 years she’s only RESPONDED and REACTED to other’s plagiarizing her voice. The public has done what they’ve always done when it comes to women – it wrote her story and expects her to just live with it. Ms. Pinkett is saying NO and sticking her tongue at all of you who can’t take it. This is such an act of revolution and I intend to treat it as such!
Will Smith has made a lot of strides to take accountability for his errors with his first wife Sheree, his daughter Willow, his former colleague Janet Hubert, and for his actions that helped cause the destruction of his marriage to Jada Pinkett. When you paint him as this helpless victim you take away the example he is showing us of how to take accountability and how to become a protector of women. And if ya’ll care about his “manhood” like so many of you claim, give him his responsibility back.
I do not have the reach for these words to make the significant difference I would like it to. I would love for this message to cause those who are the strongest critics of Jada Pinkett to open their mind to see how the way we view women has programmed their emotional response to her. I would like for people to actually go out their way to find out the facts before just accepting every podcast analysis or blog interpretation of Jada’s character. And lastly even if you do not agree with how she lives her life, at least commit to NOT publicly bashing, bullying, and shaming this woman for the choices she makes for her own life.
Her being a celebrity does not mean she isn’t human, so there is no justification for dehumanizing her. We will NEVER make a dent in women’s rights if we don’t start treating EVERY woman with respect. Stop trying to calculate their worth based on your own biases. Women are not truly respected until all of us are. Full stop.
I do not have the energy to continue to go back and forth correcting some of the lies and misinformation that is being circulated with links to videos and their actual words. It’s tedious and it also MINIMIZES what the problem is. It makes the problem seem like I think Jada Pinkett can do no wrong. When in actuality I am defending Jada Pinkett so ferociously BECAUSE she is a Black woman and deserves to be protected!
I want to be a part of the solution, but me engaging in these online debates makes me feel like I am falling into the trap of being a part of the problem. I’ve noticed that MOST of the people spreading the “Jada hate” do not care about the truth at all. They have decided to hate her and nothing can persuade them from the path that they have committed to. (I do appreciate those who just had misinformation and were open to having an objective dialogue). So I have decided to be more proactive and solution oriented with my approach. Even though my reach is small, I will use my voice as loudly as I can.
And as always, I want to hear your thoughts! I welcome opposing viewpoints, just be open to dialogue. I am always open to seeing things from a different perspective so I expect that of you as well. Do know that absolutely NO Jada-hate will be tolerated. If you can not express your displeasure about her in a respectful manner, your comment will be removed.
CALL TO ACTION
1. If you are a woman and have a story of a time when your voice was not heard or were ostracized unjustifiably, please email your story to: info@masteryhouse.org to be featured in a future publication designed to amplify women’s voices.
2. If you are a man and have a story of how you become an advocate of protecting women please also email your story to: info@masteryhouse.org
3. Lastly, if you are willing to come on a podcast to discuss your thoughts on the Will & Jada situation (no matter what side your opinion falls) please email: info@masteryhouse.org
Must be open-minded and willing to articulate your thoughts in a respectful manner.
Please include a name to call you and contact information.
ZENNPHOENIX 